I miss you. I miss you more than words can express. It feels like just yesterday that you were called home and although it’s been more years than I care to admit, the wound delivered to my 9 year old heart has not even BEGUN to heal. I often think of you and fight back tears. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, but mostly I fight back silent, inconsolable tears of guilt. Guilt bred from my need to apologize to you knowing I will never get the opportunity.
I’m sorry I never got the honor of meeting you. I’m sorry I sometimes forget just how much you meant to me. I’m sorry your voice no longer blasts from the stereo the way it used to during my grandmother’s Saturday morning cleaning ritual.
You left no heir to your throne and I’m sorry they [rappers] think they can claim a kingdom they have no rights to. There will forever be only ONE ‘greatest’ and that is the one true ‘shining serpent who gives thanks to god’. I’m sorry the world didn’t understand you. But most of all, I’m sorry they feared you so much; for it was that fear that brought about the demise of one of the most genuine spirits heaven has ever sent us.
Lesane, you truly were a gift from god. You were the first man I ever loved. I loved you before I even knew what it meant to really love. Even now, I don’t completely understand my love for you — all I know is that it’s real, it’s eternal and that it’s truly unconditional. May you forever rest in peace and in my heart.