I did a post earlier this week about the ways that men play themselves in this game called ‘dating’. So, it’s only fair that I do the same thing about women, because let’s be honest…we are far from exempt from playing ourselves.
1. Not Believing What’s Plain as Day
Wasn’t it Maya Angelou who said, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them”? If when you met him he had a girlfriend but still wanted to come over to your house for “movie night”, what in Sam Hill would make you think he wouldn’t do the same thing to you?
You’re special right? It’s her fault? She’s not doing her job. Chile, sit down somewhere. He’s not serious about you or her. He’s playing the game and you just played yourself thinking you were one off from checkmate.
As women, we constantly complain that men are dishonest. But when they do show you what they are truly about, whether it’s nobel or not…we often overlook it. All you’ve done is put him in a position to be dishonest with the next chick…assuming that she can’t handle/appreciate the truth.
2. Thinking He Can Be “Changed”
Ok, ok. You knew what he was, but thought maybe…just maybe…with enough persuasion you could convince him to be something else. Something BETTER. Played yourself! Nobody (male or female) changes (for better or for worse) until they are ready. Any “change” that you feel you’ve facilitated will be false, fabricated and very short lived.
Women have a tendency to go after the “franchise player”. The man that every “team” aka woman wants. But be advised…with franchise players comes outside offers with very lucrative contracts. Be prepared to play the game or wait until he retires..IF he retires!
3. Waiting Around for a “Job Promotion”
Now, by wait until he retires I do NOT mean warm the bench. If you start out as the towel girl…you know, the one he rides hard & hangs up wet…chances are the only place you’ll end up is in the dirty clothes hamper. #shrugs.
4. Confusing Sex with Love
Ever met a girl and think to yourself, “Po child, someone accidently placed her heart in the slot for her pikachu?” Just because he has sex with you doesn’t mean he wants to take you home to meet his mother or even to McDonald’s for that matter. Understand that going in. If you’re cool with that…go for it. But don’t look at him all cross eyed when he’s looking at you cross eyed tryna figure out how you thought y’all were working on a relationship.
I don’t personally believe there’s a such thing as no strings attached sex, especially not for women. There’s always a catch. I’ve met women who have the mindset, “He’s not playing me…I’m playing him”. Sweetheart…your rep is getting played. You may not be catching feelings and neither might he, but guarantee people aren’t walking around calling him a hoe.
Now believe me, I hate double standards just as much as the next woman, but I didn’t make the rules. And until double standards don’t exist anymore…it is what it is. #shrugs. That’s not to say you can’t do what you want, but be realistic about the expectations of consequences. If the benefits outweigh the risks, then hey…smoke a ‘Port for me when you’re done.
5. Taking “Trap or Die” WAY Too Literal!
When all else fails…trap him huh?
I mean, I know he don’t act right, has told/shown me numerous times that he doesn’t plan on acting right ANYTIME soon, but I just KNOW if I were to have his baby he would change his mind.
*sigh* We are right back where we started with thinking you can change someone. If it couldn’t stand yo’ behind before, please believe adding a screaming, hollering, child support collecting infant to the mix will only add insult to injury. Don’t play yourself!