I truly thought that as men got older the bullsh*t games would decrease. But so far, that has not been my experience. These fools just be out here ALL wrong. But what I’m finding the most ironic is that they aren’t playing females, but rather playing themselves.
I started thinking to myself, “Why are they playing a game that they can’t win?” Then I figured, maybe it’s because they don’t know the rules. So here are the top 5 ways men play themselves (according to me).
DISCLAIMER: This is in no way intended to be male bashing, because let’s be honest women play themselves just as much (post coming soon). BUT if you should just so happen to take this as male bashing…that’s completely your prerogative. #shrugs
1. Pretending to be Interested…ALL OF A SUDDEN
Maybe you weren’t popular in high school, hadn’t quite come into yourself physically, or were a bit shy. Whatever the case, we’ve all gotten those Facebook messages from some guy we went to school with claiming that they’ve “been feelin’ us for years”.
The reality of the situation is in high school (and college too for that matter) they were jocking the girls that were what I call “visible”. They were either popular or bona fide hoes..which comes with it’s own form of popularity. Now that graduation has rolled around and these chicks are no longer “visible” or have so many kids you’d have to own a daycare to house them all, they slide down their social totem pole to the girls that are “left”. Or maybe they’ve ran through all their other options and are looking for some fresh meat. Either way…
Boy if you don’t get out my face! “Back then, didn’t want me. Now I’m hot they all on me”
2. Making Up Excuses to Come to Your House (or vice versa)
Bottom line: When I want your company…I’ll let you know!
The “Can we watch a movie?” is so freshman year circa 2005. We’re off that. We all know “watch a movie” is male for “I wanna get you alone in the dark and see how far I can get”. Quite frankly, if you’re bold enough to have those expectations you should be bold enough to speak the hell up. You never know, she might actually be down for that. But making assumptions will only a) have you “watching movies” by yourself or b) going home sadly disappointed.
Which leads me to my next point…
3. Assuming Women Can’t Handle the Truth
We’ve all heard the line, “I lie to you because I care about you.” To that I say, SAVE IT! It’s a lot like when you’re a child and your parents tell you that it’s better to tell the truth now, because if they find out later, well…that’s yo’ a**.
It’s better for you to come out and tell her the truth now, because when she finds out (oh & she will!) that’s yo’ a**. Have you not seen Snapped? Cut your loses and get out before there are too many emotions involved. Lying to cover your tracks while this poor woman is catching feelings in the meantime will only land one or both of you splashed all over somebody’s Facebook Mini-Feed…if you’re lucky.
4. Thinking REAL Life is Like College
So your frat ran the campus. You were SGA President. You’re not bad on the eyes. And your parents always kept you fitted in the flyest gear.
Ok, I get it…you had a quite a few groupies. Kudos to you. But in REAL life…you want groupies? Write a rap song or dribble a ball! Otherwise, hang it up and SAT DOWN.
5. When It’s Over…MOVE ON!
And speaking of groupies…
I think women get a bad rap for being groupies as if male groupies don’t exist. News flash: THEY DO!
Once you’ve used all your lifelines, they’re gone. You’ve phoned her friends, she’s phoned yours. You’ve asked the audience (parents, teachers, mentors, pastors, friends, whomever) for advice. She’s given you the benefit of the doubt with the 50: 50 and I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t “switched the question” by trading her in for one of her friends.
Bottom Line: IT’S OVER! Not getting that message will only have you looking like the Rob Kardashian of your friends. And that is FAR from the business.